Episode #145 - Simplifying for Connection: Pre-Valentine’s Day Reset

Welcome to Organizing with Ease, where we simplify and organize our lives for the better. I'm Diana Moll, your host, ready to lead you on a journey towards a more organized and enriching life. Together, let's explore practical strategies, inspiring stories, and expert advice to simplify every aspect of our lives. Let's declutter our spaces, free our minds, and cultivate genuine happiness. Are you ready to embark on this journey with ease?

Let's get started. Hello, friends, and welcome back to Organizing with Ease. I'm Deanna Moll, your host for today, and we're diving into something a little bit different, decluttering for connection. If this is your first time tuning in, I welcome you. You've picked a great episode to start with.

And for my returning listeners, thank you for being here. I love sharing this journey with you. Well, with Valentine's just around the corner, it's the perfect time to talk about making room for deeper connections, not just with a partner, but with friends, family, and most importantly, yourself. With our spaces feeling cluttered, so do our minds, and that can impact how we show up in our relationships. Let's think about it.

Have you ever wanted to enjoy quality time with someone, but your mind just kept, like, drifting off to the mess around you? Well, what about a cluttered space that creates a cluttered mind? Have you thought about that? It also makes it harder to be fully present. Today, we're going to tackle that by simplifying our environment so that we can make space for connection, relaxation, and even a little bit more romance.

Now doesn't that sound inviting? So we do often think about decluttering in terms of physical space, clearing out our closets, organizing kitchen cabinets, or tidying up that home office. But what about that emotional clutter we carry? The sentimental items? You know, the things tied up to past experiences, and the items we keep out of obligation rather than joy.

These pieces of our past can take up just as much mental and emotional space as a cluttered home. Cluttered spaces reduce focus and make it harder to be present in conversations. Now we all know stress and relationships really don't mix, Whether it's with your spouse, your kids, your friends, the more overwhelmed we feel in our space, the less patience and engaged we become. Studies have shown that couples who regularly engage in home related chores together have 30% stronger relationship satisfaction compared to those who let clutter build up. So have you thought about that one for a study?

That's a really good statistics. Your home should be the antidote to stress, not the cause of it. Again, we always think about decluttering in terms of physical space. You know what I'm talking about, like clearing out that closet that we need to tackle, organizing the kitchen cabinets, the pantry, or tidying up the paperwork. But what about that emotional clutter we carry?

The sentimental items, the items tied to the past experiences, the items we keep, just for obligation rather than joy because, you know, we got it as a wedding gift, or it was one of those gifts that my aunt or uncle gave. These pieces of our past can just take as much as mental and emotional space as a cluttered home. That's exactly what it is because it's the pieces of our past. So why do we hold on to emotional clutter? So I actually wrote down a couple of notes, and I'm thinking that I broke it down so that we could possibly relate to some of them.

One is the guilt factor. I think that's like the number one, and I see that a lot with my clients. We hold on to gifts we never liked, letters from old relationships, or maybe clothing from someone special because we feel guilty letting them go, or because it was from a special event. But keeping something out of guilt, it doesn't bring us joy and serves us any purpose, does it? It does serve us as a reminder of an obligation we've put on ourselves.

So the second one is that one day mentality. So here we go. I have a couple of questions for you. You ready? So how many times have you said to yourself, you know, one day I'll go through that I'll go through that box in the attic, or I'll go through that box that I stuffed in the closet, or I'll sort through my old photos when I have time.

There's just way too many photos. I just can't deal with that right now. The emotional clutter often gets postponed because it forces us to face memories, decisions, and sometimes even regret. But delaying it only adds to our mental load. The fear of forgetting.

So many of us believe that if we get rid of something, like of certain items, we're letting go of the memories. But the truth is is that memories aren't in the objects, they're within us. Just like when you're moving out, those memories of that home that you grew up in, they don't go away. The house closes its door and opens up a new door for the family that the new incoming family can then start their own and creating their own memories. According to the study of the NAPO, National Association of Professional Organizers, eighty percent of items people keep are never used.

They sit in storage, taking up space physically and mentally. So here's a great quote. Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful by William Morris. So when was the last time you went through your emotional clutter? Think about it.

When was the last time you actually went through that box of old letters, yearbooks, concert tickets, or childhood memorabilia? If you've been postponing this process, it might be time to set aside a day or even an hour to go through these items with intention. So the best times to declutter emotional item, and you're probably listening and saying, but, Diana, there's really no right time. And you're right. But you know what?

How about during a move? Moving forces you to evaluate what's truly worth bringing into your next chapter. Or what about after a remodel? When you're refreshing your home, it's a great time to refresh what you own and what actually deserves space in your updated environment. And I can actually say that I understand totally because of my kitchen.

Yes. Even in an area of your kitchen, you can still have the same decluttering emotional process to go through. What about a start of the new year? A new year is a perfect time to reflect, reset, and let go of items that no longer serve you. After a life change, whether it's the end of a relationship, a career shift, or a milestone birthday, decluttering can symbolize moving forward.

So how do you how do you let go of emotional clutter? You're probably thinking, oh, great. This sounds wonderful, but how do I how do I let go of emotional clutter? Well, we wanna identify the reason you're holding on to them. So ask yourself these questions.

You really do. You have to ask you these questions. Ready? Does this item bring me joy? And you hear that a lot, but it's really true.

Do I feel guilty getting rid of it? You're probably gonna say, yeah. I am. But you have to think about it. What is the next chapter?

Why where are you going in life? Is this something that you wanna continue in your family? Am I keeping it because I feel like I should, quote, unquote? Would I even notice if this item was even gone? How about that?

That's a good question. Right? Would I even notice if this item or items were gone? If an item doesn't serve a positive purpose in your life, it's okay to let it go. Keep only a few things, not everything.

Instead of keeping every single card, letter, or keepsake, choose a select few that truly hold a meaning. If you have a box full of old concert tickets, which I used to have, I actually have to say, I really did. But what I did was instead, I actually just wound up keeping my top three favorite ones. Did I regret letting go of the other ones? Yes.

But guess what? I took a picture. So and what about all of those 20 holiday cards from the same person? Do I really need to keep all 20? No.

Maybe just keep one or two. Set a limit. Choose five items to keep from a category and let the rest go. Taking a picture and then letting it go. If items hold sentimental value, but you don't need the actual physical object, take a picture of it.

This works great for childhood drawings or school projects. I'll attach in the show notes two places that I like to use. They're actually online. You can ship them out, which actually will take these childhood drawings and make a beautiful book and album them for you. Also, you know, those old love letters or greeting cards, trophies or awards that take up space but aren't needed anymore.

For those empty nesters, those that are downsizing, moving out, and the kids still have their old trophies, ask them ask them if they wanna still be kept. Do you wanna put them in a box? Do you wanna save it for later? Sometimes the kids are gonna be like, no, mom, dad. I really wanna let it go.

Then let it go. The digital copy allows you to preserve the memory without the physical clutter. You wanna donate or you wanna repurpose it. If an item no longer serves you, but you can, you know, bring happiness to someone else, consider donating. Owe books to a local library or to a shelter.

Childhood toys, pass them on to a friend with kids or even a charity. Next door neighbors as you even. Right? Family heirlooms. If you don't want it, but another family member does, offer it to them.

You'd be really surprised on how happy that would make you and them knowing that it continues on especially into in the family. But, again, you need to ask. You never know. And even if they say no thank you, then be like okay with it, and then off it goes. You will have to find a new home.

Real life story. You ready? A client who finally is letting go. I worked with her who had boxes of her late grandmother's belongings that had been sitting untouched for, I would say, probably about at least ten years, she told me. And she's like, you know what?

I just can't get rid of them. I feel like I'm just letting her go. And I think we can all relate to that feeling, especially if it's from your mom's belongings, parents' belongings, grandparents', aunts' uncles. So what we did was we sat down together, and we sorted through the items. We really did.

We got even down to the point of, like, handwritten recipes. She did find some pieces of jewelry, and she decided to keep them. And she actually decided to integrate and wear the jewelry as part of her daily life, so she can still honor and remember her grandmother. But the rest of, like, the random trinkets, she realized, weren't actually meaningful to her. And no one in her family wanted those items, so she donated them.

And afterwards, she's like, you know what? I feel lighter. Like, I can actually breathe again and not feel guilty having those boxes there, and now I can move on. Sometimes we hold on to things thinking they hold us together, but in reality, they're weighing us down. So have you thought about creating space for self care and relaxation?

Well, one of the best ways to nurture relationships with others is to first take care of ourselves. When we feel recharge, we show up better for the people in our lives. So I worked with a client. He is a busy entrepreneur, a dad of three beautiful girls. His days were packed with meetings and deadlines, which we all can relate to.

Right? And his evenings were, what, dedicated to family time because he loves his girls. By the time he had a moment to himself, he was so tired and drained. The problem, he didn't have a single space in his home that was just for him. So can you relate to that?

Because typically, it's all about her. But you know what? It's also about him as well. So we talked about creating maybe a reading nook, but he's like, you know what? That's really just not for me.

I need a space to just, like, unwind. That's more for me. So he's a sports guy. So we created a little sports corner for him, and we made it. We he had his, favorite, sports memorabilia.

We made it a beautiful thing. We were able to arrange where we had TV mounted on a wall. So we made a room, and we created it just for him. So it was more like a man cave, you would call it. But then again, it turned out to also become another room as well.

But you know what? That was okay. So if you're a gaming and a tech, you wanna have that zone as well so that you can escape and recharge. If you like, I've had working with clients, and they love cars. So, you know, set up a little area in the garage or create another entire workspace just for being able to work on your cars.

But whatever the area is, the key here is to take self care looks different for everyone. Not all men want a reading nook. Not all women want a candlelight bath. The important thing is to create a space that feels just for you, to restore you. So what about celebrating Valentine's at home?

Celebrating it with friends and family, like a Galentine. What about a baking party? That's kind of fun. You set up some areas, you know, that mess free baking station with pre measured ingredients so the kids can decorate cookies and cupcakes, which actually has been done already here in my house since the stove is not yet connected, but the actual the oven is. So they were able to actually bake cupcakes and also a red velvet cake.

Yes. It was actually very good. Baking isn't just for kids. Why not invite a few friends over for a bottle of wine? Bake your favorite treats while catching up.

Have a dinner party at home. If a night out feels overwhelming, because sometimes Valentine's Day kinda gets overrated, I don't know about you, but having a dinner at home with friends or just between you and your loved one, it's kinda nice. Set the table, light some candles, enjoy a home cooked meal, which I am so looking forward to actually doing. So what about you? What plans do you have for Valentine's?

Are you one of those that actually goes out on Valentine's night that actually falls on a Friday? So hoping again to have my kitchen ready so that maybe Saturday, I might be able to cook some dinner. So if you are planning a Valentine's celebration at home, this is a great time to check your pantry. Yes. Since my kitchen has been out of commission since last September, I know I have not yet refreshed my baking supplies.

So for the galantine that my daughter recently posted at the house, she actually was able to use what I still had remaining. And now I actually get to put that on my to do list for my weekly meal planning is to refresh my baking supplies. So whether you're baking cookies for your kids, making homemade pasta for date night possibly, or just planning a cozy night in a with a warm drink, take a quick inventory, please, and make sure you have what you need. There's nothing worse than getting excited about a recipe, only to realize you're missing a key ingredient, which I have no idea what I'm talking about, but maybe that kind of sounds like I've had that in the past. I think we've all been there.

Right? So why don't we think about this through the fresh start method, a step by step recap. Ready? We're going to identify what's adding value to your space and what's just taking up space. Let go of anything that creates guilt, stress, or unnecessary clutter.

We wanna set up zones that support connection, whether for self care, date night, or family time. Incorporate a daily reset to keep things feeling fresh and functional. So for today's final thoughts, let's make space for what matters. Decluttering emotional clutter isn't just about creating physical space. It's about making space for new experiences, memories, and a peace of mind.

This week, challenge yourself to go through one area where you've been holding on to emotional clutter. Maybe it's a box of old gifts, a pile of greeting cards, or even digital clutter like those saved texts, messaging, and or some emails, which we went through. But you know what? It's always good to go over it again. So for me, I can already tell you digital declutter will be on my list for me personally.

One question do you wanna ask yourself is, do I really need this to remember the good times? Or is it time to move forward? Remember, your home should reflect who you are now, not just who you used to be. Join me next week as we tackle decluttering distractions, how to reclaim your time and energy. Until next week, step by step, little by little, we're making progress.

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