Special Guest Episode - It all with Danisa Borges

Welcome to Organizing with Ease, where we simplify and organize our lives for the better. I'm Diana Moll, your host, ready to lead you on a journey towards a more organized and enriching life. Together, let's explore practical strategies, inspiring stories, and expert advice to simplify every aspect of our lives. Let's declutter our spaces, free our minds, and cultivate genuine happiness.

Are you ready to embark on this journey with Eve? Let's get started. Today, we're diving into the art of keeping life simple, even when juggling multiple roles. Our special guest today is Denise Aborgus, a wife, a mom of four, attorney, and business owner. Yet she makes it all look effortless. How? Through simplicity and intentional systems.

Let's uncover her secrets to staying balanced and thriving in both family and business. Welcome, Denisa. Hi, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much, Diana, for having me. Oh, no, you're very, very welcome. So as we all know, managing family business and everything in between is definitely not an easy task. But it seems as though you found a way to make it work. So at least most days, right? Most days, you might say, right? I would say that, yeah. I would say that, right?

But honestly, let's be real. I mean, I don't know about you, but balancing really isn't about perfection, that's what I see it, right? But how do you approach keeping things running smoothly while you still allow room for flexibility and growth? Well, first, I want to preface with saying that I'm definitely not perfect. I have my days that don't operate efficiently, but I have found that there are systems and mindset shifts that I've implemented in my life to be able to at least get a good portion of my week, you know, managed efficiently. And so I think what you said in the beginning is absolutely true, understanding that nothing is going to be perfect. And if you operate from that idea, I think you don't set yourself up for failure because, you know, you just kind of go with the flow and Yeah, I think that, you know, as we progress in our journeys, and with every child and every business that I've added, I've sort of had to tweak here and there and learn as I go. And, you know, I've developed a system that I think works effectively for me. And, you know, I think everybody has to take little bits and pieces of other people's journeys and sort of find something that... So share with us because you have girls as I do as well.

But you also have a boy. how is that all mixing with getting systems in place and making things happen with them? Because you have the four at all different ages. Yeah. So after my second, when I first graduated from law school and I started practicing, I was litigating. And I really had a calling to step away from practice for a little bit. And I did. sort of started my law firm at the point where I was had just delivered my son. And so I stepped back from practicing and I was home with two little kids and my house was full of stuff. And I just felt like a sense of overwhelm. I couldn't really accomplish everything that I wanted to. I was constantly like picking up after them. And that's really where my whole mindset shifted. And I thought,

I actually started following influence. don't know if that was a term back then, you know, people that were posting on Instagram and I saw all these moms that their houses look so simple and they seemed less overwhelmed than I did. And I said, okay, well, how can, obviously there's something to that, right? Um, and this was all like during the time of Marie Kondo and, know, simplifying your homes and making things, you know, as beautiful and simple as you possibly could. I said, okay,

Obviously, there's something to this, right? Because they seem less overwhelmed than I do. And I want that feeling. I want to be happy in my home. I want to create a sanctuary in my home where I go out. But when I come home, I feel at peace. I feel relaxed. I'm not constantly picking up toys for kids. And so I started, you know, decluttering and I decluttered everything in my home. I started sort of, you know, just changing my furniture, changing little by little, obviously, because there's a cost to this. There's a cost, right. So how long did it take? Because I can honestly say for me personally, it took me well over a year, like close to a year and a half to get my house completely. And now recently I had my kitchen remodeled. So that kind of added to the whole, like another whole another level of like redoing everything again. But for you at that time, how long did it take?

I would say I would probably say the same thing. I mean, just to get it to a place where I felt comfortable, I would say probably a year. And it also like it's been in phases. So that was when I hadn't remodeled my home. So you know, I and then two years after that, I ended up remodeling my home and I kind of redid everything again. It's going through those phases, but you have to actually do that one. You have to get there to that mindset like you were already. And then from there, you can then build on where you want to go and start making that plan. Cause everybody has to be on board. Like your husband has to be on board. The dogs have to be on board. Absolutely. I mean, I think my, my kids now know my aesthetic, my style. So they, don't question it as much, but in the beginning, obviously it is tough. My kids share rooms or my girls share rooms. So, you know, I,

let them know it's like we have a limited amount of space. So we want this space to operate effectively. I want you to be at peace and trust me, there's a struggle there because as kids, what do we want to do? We want to collect, collect. And my son is a hoarder. I love him, but he's a, he's an organized hoarder, but he's a hoarder. I don't believe him. You know, I was like that as a child too, unfortunately. Yeah. Like unfortunately I described myself as my default is messy. Like I don't operate.

Like my brother is very spatially aware. He knows like, you know, what goes in what location. I'm not like that. I am a messy by nature type of person, but I recognize that my brain does not operate effectively if I'm in a mess. So I need to like balance that pool of, okay, Denise. like, let's be real. It's not working. No, but actually, you know what, you just made a really good point because of the fact that you are a you are an entrepreneur, you have your own business, you have your own law practice. And for you to be productive and be able to assist your clients. Yes. Right. That also that's where that effect comes into play. Really. is where that life balance because otherwise you can't assist your clients at the level that they need this help with, right? If you are like in chaos mode, right? I mean, that's what I call it. Cause I know like for me, when my home office is well right now we won't even go there, but at the point of like order, you know, you need to walk into that home office, right? Be able to be productive so that you can assist your clients. Cause otherwise

It's not going to happen. Like, I mean, I think we've all been there before. Right. Could you write? I I don't know. Could you relate to that at that? A hundred percent. A hundred. Like I. Right. If I go into my office and it's messy, like I like, I don't know. At this point in my life, I just feel overwhelmed. Like I feel like my office is going to cave in on me. I'm not as productive. So I again, I want to say I'm not perfect. This is a struggle for me every single week as well. And my husband could attest to that. but I recognize it and I try to implement things that allow for me to get back to where I am. So like what things like what do you because I do this with my clients. So I actually help and work with them on trying to get systems and making them accountable for you know, like that lifestyle and things like that. But like what could you share with our listeners today that has helped you like just simple steps that maybe that might actually they might be able to use as well. Well, I have everything has a spot. And I think that is a sort of, you know, foundational concept, but it really does make a difference because, for instance, I have, I do a lot of social media photography for one of my businesses. I know that my camera has a specific location that it needs to go when I'm done with it. When I, in terms of my law practice, I have, I'm a tactile person, so I do print out a lot of my documents and I like to highlight. And so I have a system for my files, especially like my closing files, for instance. I like a particular order and they get stored in a specific spot in my office. And so, you know, I know that, you know, just elaborating more on the everything has a spot, like my escrow checks, everything has a location so that when I need to access them, I know exactly.

where they are. And in terms of just everyday function, I like to have weekly meetings with my team and discuss what is going on for the week. And just going back to what we were talking about. So one thing led to the other, right? I got my physical spaces in order, and then that made me feel a certain way. I was like, okay, I can operate better. How else can I implement all these concepts into other aspects of my life? And so that from there, I went to my calendar. And I said, okay, well, I have a lot of things going on. I need to have a system in place that allows for, you know, all these time commitments. And so I am a journal type of person in addition to a digital calendar. So I know sometimes you do both. So do both. you do both. I know that that might be an overkill, but for me and how my work operates. Because it works for you. Correct. Yes.

Correct. And see, that's the thing. You need to find things that make it work for you, because it's not going to work for everybody. Right? Because you had just mentioned, this is the only way that my brain operates. Right? And so a lot of us can relate to that. Like, so their brains are wired that way. And so it's also like with because of with everything that's going on, it's easy to feel that everything is urgent, right? To make everything a priority. And then if you don't write it down and you don't write down like the top three, top five, then that's where that overwhelming comes into play. Right. And it also gives you that sense of satisfaction where you can cross something out. I love I do the same thing. I just love crossing it off. So, you know, whether it's that digital checkmark or actually on my on my planner as well, there's just like, it's a side from the like actual reward. It's just self just like, wow, this is like

I like this one, you know, okay, now I can go to the next one, right? Like, check that off and just move right. You guys, we want to move forward. We never want to go backwards. We just want to go forward. Right. Of course. Yeah. So then from there, you know, just figuring out my, once I got a handle on my calendar and my team, because when I, when I feel, um, that I have too much on my plate, I need to sit down and sort of think of macro level, everything that's going on, what can I delegate? And that has been extremely helpful. And that didn't start from day one. Obviously I have built my team little by little. And, you know, with the addition of every person to my team, we've had to kind of reevaluate our systems. Okay. Who, who can take what? How do we best effectively delegate certain tasks? And that's an ever evolving, you know, challenge, but we certainly try to be proactive about it versus reactive. And then, you know, from there kind of.

Okay, how do I, I entered a health journey and I said, how do I simplify that? So everything has led to another sort of chapter and the whole, you know, the macro level concept is simplification. Like at the root, what is most important to me? What do I need to do to be or feel my best self? And that's sort of been my journey in my personal life, my business. mom life because we and that's ever, you I always have to check myself because it's so easy to be, Oh, you know, Johnny is doing karate, you know, playing an instrument doing, and I'm like, okay, I need to step back and reevaluate. Like, what are my goals for my kids, for my family? And it's okay not to do everything. And every day might be different. You know, I might like come to that realization, you know, earlier in the day than sometimes other days, because it's easy to get influenced, for lack of a better word, of what is around you and affected by other people's energies. And I try my best, but at the root of it, it's like, I need to step back, evaluate what is important to me. What are my priorities for my kids, my marriage, my family, my home, my business? And then sometimes you just got to restart. And I do that often. Yes.

You know in today's today's world it's just so easy that are working our personal life like blend together right I mean it just does right and I know that setting boundaries actually is really crucial in maintaining balance so now do you as a business owner and as a mom right what what boundaries have you use and have been most important for you in managing everything like I mean setting boundaries.

This is a daily struggle for me because I am a person that I wouldn't say I experienced FOMO. It's not that, but I I do suffer from guilt. so so that is like something I have to check on the daily, sometimes hourly. And my husband does a good job because he brings me back to reality. He's like, OK, our unit like that's number one. and then everything else will flow from that. So I don't want to sound like I have this particular area figured out because I don't. However, I do put boundaries on my time in every aspect of my life. you know, the culture today is a million birthday parties, a million commitments for kids. I don't do that. I don't subscribe to that. It's crazy. It's crazy. Right? mean, mean, our kids' social life sometimes have busier schedules than ours. And meanwhile,

It's pretty active. So I definitely want them to participate. I want them to be, you know, active members of their communities and their friendships. So I really tell them, you know, is this a birthday party that you really want to attend? Is this somebody that's really important to you? And I and I try my best, but at the same time, my weekend every single weekend cannot be a child's birthday party. And I might get flack for that, but I just I can't. It's not great for money.

Like you and I know because it adds up all those gifts they add up all those gifts add up and and really our kids don't need more stuff. Like maybe I'm on the minority on this, but you know, I would have much rather an experience type of gift than more stuff to add to my home that I have to upkeep and my kids are going to play with for a set number of minutes and then it's forgotten. So, you know, putting boundaries on my kids. extracurricular activities because I want them to just relax. Like our Monday through Friday is so overwhelming that sometimes the weekends, I just want them to play outside. I want them to run barefoot in my yard or at my parents. And that's kind of the lifestyle that I want for them. So putting boundaries on time commitments, putting in terms of work. And I'm sure, you know, as an entrepreneur, like that normal nine to five sort of has evaporated. People have no concept of etiquette when it comes to emails, like when to contact. so even more so as an entrepreneur, because you kind of have to fit things in whenever you can. So I am an early morning riser. And I like for me, a workout, is a necessity for my mental health. So I put a boundary on what needs to get done every day. And one of those things is a workout. So, you know, from like five, that's another way of implementing boundaries, figuring out what are non-negotiables for you. For me, it's a workout and, you know, know, doing things in my home that I see the, the sort of the benefit of, um, you know, boundaries on time commitments, boundaries on non-negotiables, boundaries on, um, figuring out. I get, I don't know about you, but we come from a big family. So we get asked to do things all the time and I try my best.

And I know like if it's an important birthday, a milestone, I definitely make the time to do it. But also stepping back and being like, what is this in the grand scheme of things? How is this going to affect our schedule and like all the things that we want to accomplish? So I've started trying to implement picking either a Saturday or Sunday, depending on what's going on for that weekend and saying this day we're not doing anything. Like this is a home date.

And if I want to take a nap, I'm going to take a nap. My naps, literally, if I do take a nap, it's literally like a power nap of 20 minutes. I've done this all of my life. don't do like an hour, two hours, because for me, that's not been in my realm. Like, I've never done that. I mean, like in all my years. So for me, a nap is like a 20 minute, like close my eyes, just kind of like do like a, close the eyes, do like a little bit of meditation, and then I can just recharge my batteries. I don't do it as often, but that's my nap, not the two hour And it's amazing. We're like always operating at 150%. And it's like, sometimes we just need to rest. And so, you I've started trying to implement that one day a weekend, like figuring out, we're not doing anything. I tell my husband, hey, the kitchen's closed. So we got to... make things work or we're ordering in or I don't know, we gotta figure it out. I cook a lot. So in our house, it's like the kitchen's open. If the kids are in school, obviously not during lunch, but if they're not in school, it's like breakfast, lunch, dinner. And so I love cooking, don't get me wrong, but the cleanup. So right now, as you probably already know, like my kitchen, I'm just finishing up. now I'm like, I'm always in my kitchen because I've missed out since, you know, all these months.

So I'm just like right now loving my kitchen, I'm pretty sure that at the end of like, I don't know, like maybe say August of this year, I might just kind of just be like, yeah, no, I'm good with my kitchen right now. Like, so I might have that same feeling as you're like, the cooking is like all new experience now for me. I'm just so excited, you know, just use everything. But yeah, can, I can see how we're gonna, I'm gonna be phasing that out as well. And you know, I mean, even if we do have like great systems,

We still have we still have challenges, right? I mean like so I mean, I don't know about you, but I've personally had to navigate unexpected shifts and learn how to adapt quickly. And so what has been one of your biggest challenges in balancing it all out? And how did you work it through? I mean, going back to what I said, I mean, guilt, you know, whether it be from individual people or just like societal, like, you know, expectations on moms and working women to like do all the things, check all the boxes, make sure your kids are, you know, at this point, it's so competitive to get into colleges. And I hear moms like stressing out and I'm like, I don't want to subscribe to this feeling. Like I want my kids to love learning. I want them to love the commitments that they're saying. I'm not the mom that's going to force the kid to go do soccer because I feel like they need to do it. So if my kid is not enjoying something, I'm like, I'm out. We're out. And will find something that they really do want to do. just figuring out that guilt has been a journey for me. And I struggle with it still to this day. Don't get me wrong, I have not overcome that challenge. Well, no, you know what? I actually want to go back to what you just said. So I know with my girls, I've had it where we did the after school, because of course now they're older. I have high school and in college now.

But in the younger years, like elementary and middle school, and even now in high school. if the child, like my girls, if we did after school activities and they didn't like that activity, it was a challenge to get them there. And so the stress level on me to make sure that they had everything ready to go for that extracurricular activity was so stressful that we had to like. I don't know if you've gone through this and you know what I'm talking about, it was one of those moments of like, okay, we need to kind of just sit down and reassess. Like, does this activity after school really work? Like, are you enjoying it? Because at this rate, I'm not enjoying it. Like me, the mom, I'm not enjoying driving. And you know how it is here in the 305, the Miami traffic is horrendous to get to an activity at a specific time when your child is just like, yeah, I'm not into this.

You know, like that struggle. So like for the mom behind the car going there, driving around and it's just like, oh, is it worth it? And so like you had said, we actually had to evaluate several times on the afterschool activities because you know what? I want them to enjoy where they're going. Absolutely. them to be able to say, hey, listen, okay, let's go mom. So, you know, we've narrowed down to the sports. We're good. I'm good. Beautiful. Anything else? Great. You want to do this? No.

Beautiful. So for me, I'm taking it on a little bit selfish. OK, one less driving day. You know, like I'm good with that. Right. Right. Right. So because my younger one still isn't driving yet. but so the thing is, is that I think we all feel that way. Right. Like we feel that we feel because it's a lot. You're right. The pressure is on the pressure that the other parents and all the kids in society has made for us. It's a lot. It is. And why are we doing it? Like, I don't.

You know, and so and not only just the time commitment, but I don't know if I'm sure you have everything price wise has gone up, but like activities are out of control as well. So, you know, we're paying all this money. Our kids are not happy. They're stressed out. They're not enjoying what they're doing. So what are we doing it for? What are we doing? You know, like, right. I don't I just don't. get that. And it's not, don't want to conflate one thing with the other. Like if they commit to doing something, I've told them like, you, if you've committed, you need to finish it. You need to see it through. If you, if you have teammates that are, you know, they are relying on you, you need to see that through because I also don't want them to believe that it's okay to just quit and with no implication. However, if, if after time you've realized you don't enjoy doing it, I'm not going to pay. I'm not going to spend hours. driving you around, I'm not going to be the one to have to basically get all your stuff right. Like I just, I don't subscribe to that idea. And, um, you know, why, like I said, why are we doing that? Nobody else, like no other countries are doing that. And it's, it's what I call at that point in time, it's like madness at its best. Like it's just like crazy. Right. And then it's like crazy for what? Like,

What's the thing? What is that? So we go through all of this. What is at the end? Like what is at the end? Like what are the results? Right? Like what are the results for our children? What are the results for you as the parents seeing for the kids? know, like why don't we just take the future, right? Like the filter. Like what is the end goal? Because we as business owners, we have to do our own goals, right? We have to do our business. We have to do our strategies. We have to do our goals. We do monthly goals.

You do weekly goals, however everyone looks at their goals on the business. have said it also for our family as well. Right. So we have to see whether or not that is actually part of our goal setting for the family and for the, our children. And is it really worth it? And something that I think most first time moms perhaps don't appreciate because you're overwhelmed with all the changes is like developing, like what your family ethos is. You know, I think that once you have your goals for your family, for your home culture, I think saying no to a lot of things becomes easier because you believe so wholeheartedly in what you're doing that it doesn't matter what your neighbor's doing or some other parent is doing because you know deep down inside that you feel what is best for your family, your marriage, your kids. And so people are like, well, how do you do everything? I'm like, I don't.

You know, I prioritize what's important for my kids and my family. you know, years down the line, my kids might choose to do something differently with their own family. And that's okay. I think, you know, understanding that and establishing that as early as possible, because it might not happen for you the moment you get pregnant the first time or when you have your first child. It certainly didn't happen for me. It took having two kids to kind of hone that out and figure out, OK, what's important for me and my kids and my family, my husband? and being comfortable and confident in what you believe. So, OK, so with that, so I'm to ask you this question. So looking back like at your younger self, like 10 years, so you just mentioned that you had kind of done that. So if you could go back 10 years, right, 10 years. So what advice would you give yourself, you yourself, like managing life, family and businesses? I would say that in the beginning, and I have come to this realization is that we want our journeys to be so linear.

A to B and like no disruptions in that timeline. I would say everything happens for a reason and you need to just enjoy and sometimes we don't understand why things happen to us in certain points of our lives, but there's always like at least some invisible string that makes it all make sense. And I thought, oh, I, especially when I left litigating, I said, oh my God, how am I going to like, is this going to be a negative for my business, for my life. I've worked so hard to become an attorney and a professional. how's it, you know what? At the end of the day, it'll all work out and understand, sometimes you just have to settle down and trust that things will work out. I was like such an academically driven individual and I still am to this day. I have to check that because you know, some of my kids are, some of my kids are not. And I'm like, okay, settle down. That was my, that was me. And I can't impose that on my children.

But in retrospect, I'm like, why was I so crazy about? Like I would have ended up probably in the same spot that I'm in now, because I have the work ethic. I know what I got to do to get to where I need to be. And I could have just enjoyed myself a little bit more and not been so stressed out. Right. So stressed out about it, right? Yes. No, cannot. Yes. It's true. Like why? Yeah, no, it's true. It is. It's true. Like this, I guess. I mean, I know I say this and it's no is actually a full sentence.

Absolutely. No is a full sentence. And if I continue to say that, I feel good about saying no. You can say it, of course, a different way when somebody asks you to do something. But, you know, listen to your inner voice because your inner voice sometimes really can guide you on where the next step is going to be so that you can say that. No, thank you so much. Right. I'm not going to do it at this time. Right. Right. And and knowing that you're it's OK to do that takes time. But if you do say it, and you do get to go through that, you're like, oh wow, because you know what? It opened the door for something else that might is actually better for them what you had already planned. So right, whether it's your personal life, whether it's the business, because I don't know about you, but I know for me and my business, my business has been evolving since I began and it's still evolving and I'm opening all these other doors and I'm just really excited for like the next journey within the business. And I think knowing that you can actually pave that way,

But sometimes you can pave it, but then you're going to have to like kind of like sidetrack like you had mentioned. I mean, my husband, when he struggles sometimes, I'm like, honestly, if it were that easy, everybody would do it. Everybody would do it. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And everybody would own businesses like, you know, there has to be and not that I'm saying that one is better than the other because, you know, having a career and working for some company is just as admirable as starting your own career, your own business.

So I don't think one is better than the other, but you do have to have certain personality traits to be an entrepreneurial and you have to weather the storm. so, know, if it like, you know, going back, if it were easy, every single person would do it. And that's, that's not like the reality and it's not feasible for everybody to be doing the same thing. So, um, yeah, I think just that would be my, I wouldn't change anything. I really, I wouldn't, I would not go back to being, you know,

I'm 36 now. I would not go back to being 26. love my I think every day that I age, I get closer to my ideal life. I really feel that. And so I have no I have no qualms about like being younger, but I would I just be like, chill. We're here. You're gonna be okay. Like life already is in itself as difficult. Let's just not like add to that difficulty. Right? Like, just and that's why

I always say, like you had mentioned, when you walk into your home, it needs to be your sanctuary where you like relax and enjoy life. And that's what I like to do as when I work with my clients to make it so that you do walk into your home and also with my home as well. Because if it does, if it's not where, you know, where I'm like feeling good at coming home, it's like, oh, you know, especially like from a long day where whatever it might be. Right. So you want to come home and you want to be able to.

Just like you had mentioned, just relax because you have to recharge your batteries because if you don't, it's not you can't produce. You can't you can't fulfill. You can't work with your clients. You can't be, you know, the wife, the mother, everybody that CEO of the household. Right. Because that's just part of that's part of life. So, you know, I just think that's that's that's my that's my my summing up of.

you know, life as in a 101 version. Absolutely. I tell my husband like now one of my greatest joys is waking up. I'm an early riser. So my my house is very quiet. hear that. Yes. Waking up to a clean house. And I'm not saying like it has to be like spotless. No, I'm just saying like everything in its place and just starting my coffee machine looking at my kitchen and it's all nice and you know, organized.

No, it's right. No dishes. No. Oh, that's you're just like, Oh, okay. So all right, let me ask. So do you like? Alright, so I have a night routine in the kitchen. And my biggest pet peeve is there cannot be any dishes in the sink or leftover night. Like it just, it just can't happen. Like I like how you had mentioned. So I actually clear out everything I do all that and I actually run my dishwasher the night so that the next morning, I can just kind of do my thing in the morning. So you're the same way you don't like the dishes in the sink.

I don't I mean, I'm not going to say that it's perfect every single night. No, but I mean, like the majority of the time, I mean, like, so please understand listeners, this is where we are talking. This is real life. Like, so yes, do I say I want to have my dishes out completely, but doesn't happen? Yes, the majority of the time, there's some times where it doesn't happen. And you know what? The thing is, it's OK. Yes, right. It's OK, because it's all about

The perfection is where that craziness comes into play, but it actually helps you, right? But you don't have to go crazy because of the fact that you have to have everything because life gets messy sometimes. Yeah. Right. But if you have the ground rule and you have your ground, like building a house, if you have that foundation, anything is possible. Absolutely. Yeah. So we do the same thing. My husband, I've been like, it ebbs and flows, right? So when my husband is really, really busy with work and business, I kind of try to step in. So I take a little bit of a step back and sort of take more control of what's going on in the house, which is usually that's where we operate from. And I'm totally fine with it because I enjoy it. But when I'm really busy, he is extremely helpful. I cannot say otherwise. So he knows, okay, like it's important for Denise to wake up. a clean kitchen and like if I can't do the dishes, he'll definitely step in and just organize. He's like a master organizer of the dishwasher. He hates how I do it. He hates how I do it. So he'll, he'll set that up. And then in the morning, the kids help with putting everything back from the dishwasher. So we try to, you know, implement that role that they have in helping us get the kitchen back to where it needs to be. So I definitely agree with you. We, that is what we try to do every night. clean kitchen because my mom wakes up so much happier. Ready. We want we want happy that's what we want the end of the day is not happy. But I do want to take a moment right now because you did mention you get your kids involved so how important is that in the household for you because the kids are now older but how important was it and is for you to have your kids involved in the household chores. Oh my gosh that is like. a number one non-negotiable for us. Okay, so that's a non-negotiable. Yes, it is. It is evolved. I have a four year old. My oldest is 11 at this point. So what my four year old does definitely does not compare to what my 11 year old can do. And so that will evolve, but they all have their own roles. You know, my girls, I've taught them how to, you know, put their clothes to wash, how to switch it to the dryer. It's not perfect. And you got to like,

If you want your kids to fold the laundry perfectly, that might not be something you do. You know what? I mean, just the mere thought of our kids actually just putting the clothes in the hamper as opposed to like on the floor. That's a huge that's huge. Like that's I mean, I don't know about you, but that's like a moment of like where we're going to just celebrate and do the happy dance. Yeah. Right. So it's those small steps that make a difference.

And it then also becomes into a habit. So once that you form, because I do believe that children can start at an early age being part of the household chores and especially like in their own bathroom, because I don't know about you, but like for me, for the girls, the bathroom, it's like, first off, I feel like I have an entire makeup. I have, I have more products that I can start at my own store. Like it's just me, right? And so you have to keep order.

I mean, I mean, and so they now, now that they're older, they actually have their own system. But before they got there, we, you know, we kind of, like you had mentioned, we kind of like start them off, kind of show them, and then they tweak it to make it work for them. Because my system for them is not going to be the same. At least though, they have now seen, oh, okay, you know what, if I do it here, I could put this there. This is what I use morning. So let me get my morning routine going.

And so I've seen that now with my girls and it's working out for them. And I'm actually really pleased that they've taken that next step on their own. I think it is imperative that we get our kids involved in the running of the home. I really do. I think it's a foundational concept that will go with them throughout their lives. so, you know, everything within measure, like I said, you know, my four year old can't do what my 11 year old does. Sorry.

But for instance, they help with the dishwasher. They know that my daughter needs to get the dog bowls ready. You know, my son helps with collecting the garbage around the house. know, minor things that do add up. And for us, the way that we explain it to them is our home, our family is a team. I mean, there's six of us. Not including the dogs. No, can say not including the dogs, because let me tell you something. My little guy,

He is like my baby boy that I don't have. you know, I mean, that's just right. So if we all want to, you know, work optimally and get to where we need to be and do what we want to do, then we all need to work together to achieve that, because I'm only one person. My husband's one person. So, you know, I think that is something that perhaps we have as a society, we have straight away from in not letting kids have active roles in the household and around their communities. And I think it does a disservice for parents because then they have to take on that load and it does a disservice for them because eventually isn't the goal to create independent children that are gonna go out and be able to live on their own in college and so on and so forth. Like we want them to be contributing members of society. So if you don't give them the opportunity to hone that skill,

What are we doing? right. Well, not only that, but I don't know about you, but it's also stressful on you, the parent, right? Because that's then all on you, right? So then you try to tell your child, please do this, please do that, please do that. And they're not doing it. And then it falls back on you. And that's, know, that's where that that's that's not the balancing act there is it's a tilting of the scale. And that's just where right. And so it so for our listeners, if you're hearing and you're relating to the story,

Please know it evolves. Like you have to work with your family and because everybody is different. So you like, I have two children, you have the four, but regardless, right? Whether you have five, whether you have one, the dogs, or is it just a husband and a wife? Everybody has to work as a team. Right. And I think the team needs to have, so we, what we do, I don't know about you do this, but for us, we have Sunday night and Sunday night was where we actually go through the week ahead.

It's worked for us. It's taken some time, it's worked for us because I also do my Sunday planning for the week and I do meal planning and that actually has helped kind of streamline things because of our busy schedules. And so because of that, it actually now has everybody involved because they're like, oh yeah, now I know what I'm going to be eating. I have this date. I'm going to grab this. I'm going to do this. I'm going take that, you know? So it actually makes a lot of things throughout the week a lot easier, but it doesn't happen overnight.

So I'm just, I mean, like it doesn't because like you had just said EBS and flows, cause you can get a system in place, but that doesn't mean diddly squat if it doesn't work for you. So then you have to go back and you have to refine it. You have to tweak it, be like what worked, what didn't work. Okay. So let's just keep going. How can we make it work? Right. So that everybody is on board because if nobody's on board and you have one off, everything falls apart. Absolutely.

Do you the same way? Yeah. Absolutely. you have to be okay with changing, right? Because that's the thing, right? You have to be okay with changing. Right. And I do. We definitely try to do that as well on Sundays, not usually at nighttime because we're, but yes, just establishing, okay, like Monday, this is what's going on. Like, so I also meal prep and I meal plan. And I said, okay, well, Monday I have a doctor's appointment. I'm not going to be able to, I don't know, defrost in the morning and figure out.

So I try to plan ahead for that. And I try to have some proteins in the protein sources in the fridge to just make dinner prep easier. And so if we're on the same page, I think, you know, it's easier to steer the ship. So I definitely agree with you and just being okay. you know, every season is different and shifting and figuring out, okay, maybe meal prepping on a Sunday is just not feasible these next few months. And you shift it to a Wednesday or you figure out.

you know, other systems that work and like going back to the our foundational concept of it's not about perfection. If you accept that, then you could evolve and grow and figure out a system that best works for you and your family. You're absolutely, you're absolutely correct. It's all about, and social media does have that, that I guess that thought process of making everything so beautiful, but in reality, the relatable version life, life does get messy.

And we all just have to accept that. So I thank you so, so very much for being part of my podcast here today. And so for our listeners, how can they get ahold of you if they need some legal assistance? Please let them know where they can get ahold of you. Well, you can find us on Instagram at Borges Law Miami, or you can find or find me at DM under slash.

Borges on Instagram. could find me on TikTok now at Denisa Borges. All my friends are like, you got to get on TikTok. I was a little bit, I don't know. did it. I was like, okay, let's do it. I'm in a phase right now where I'm just taking on the new challenges, whatever makes me uncomfortable. That's what I'm doing. So you could find me on TikTok. You're going outside the box, making that comfort level. outside the level. for you. So any one of those channels, you could reach out to us.

Okay, super. just for our listeners, just to let you know, I will also add that into our show notes. So take care and until next time. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe to organizing with ease podcast on your favorite podcast platform and leave us a review. Your feedback helps us grow and reach more listeners like you who are passionate about living their best lives. And remember, a new episode comes out every Thursday at 8am.

So mark your calendar and join us. Until next week, take care and keep shining bright.nd join us. Until next week, take care and keep shining bright.